do not tell me i have a
body. i am trying to maintain the illusion.
shall we just pretend,
then? ignore my anger and my spiteful jabbing words, shall we pretend i had too
much sugar or pills or caffeine or what have you, ignore my disjointedness?
it's what we're best at, you know. you and your booze, the way you see right
through me, all our west coast secrets illuminated by this harsh southern sun.
i won't tell if you won't tell but you know i have more to lose.
i am full of lies and half-truths that tumble out together because i cannot bear that quiet look you give me across the table. you know it but it's the only way i can keep you guessing. shall we never admit that we live in different realms though we were born kin? almost-brother and yet i was raised in a house of secrecy that even you cannot penetrate.
at least you can look at me and feel all right with your mild malaise. i am useful for comparisons. i am useful in being the one worse off, the rogue, the hopeless one. and there is that, i guess.
i am full of lies and half-truths that tumble out together because i cannot bear that quiet look you give me across the table. you know it but it's the only way i can keep you guessing. shall we never admit that we live in different realms though we were born kin? almost-brother and yet i was raised in a house of secrecy that even you cannot penetrate.
at least you can look at me and feel all right with your mild malaise. i am useful for comparisons. i am useful in being the one worse off, the rogue, the hopeless one. and there is that, i guess.
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