too many times exist and i've frozen solid, black ice with so
many opaque cracks. groaning distantly in the wind. cover me with shanties and
cut holes to my core. my tears will splash up and freeze again. only ice
doesn't bleed. and i am not full of fishes.
i keep getting runs in my tights which i would like to blame on
the dogs, but. it is the taking up of too much space, of too many times at
once. i am in excess in all dimensions.
all i want is to destroy one set of selves, the ones in panic,
the ones screaming in the night, the ones that do not say no. but the borders
blur here and i fear i am destroying the wrong ones, all of it, all of me.
i don't know when to stop. i don't know what it
means to stop, to live properly, to breathe without tears.
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