Sunday, May 6, 2018

solitary confinement is not always involuntary

i have not spoken to another human for three days. 


i close my windows but still i can hear the world go on, the city, people, their shadows playing out against my curtains. they have so many things to do. so many words to say. could touch me if they could reach through these panes of glass. 


they do not know i exist in here. they do not know i exist solely to eat and think and vomit. 


i'd like to think i exist only behind a screen, that my soul is contained in words, the direst parts filtered out before they reach another. time in between, a little space. my punctuation says more correctly what my face will never learn. if, then. maybe corporeally i will cease to have the need to exist. 


if i went mute it would take off a lot of the burden. 


if i knew for sure i were invisible it would hurt a whole lot less. 

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