Sunday, April 29, 2018

today i am a bullfrog


last night i dreamt i ate something out of the sea and threw it up and then blew my nose and an earthworm came out, coiled like a snail, glowing in many colors. i awoke as a bullfrog: eyes puffy, throat swelled and sore.


but it's all right. i've emptied my kitchen of all i don't eat or that had gone bad and now i have space and safe edible things and a little room to breathe. i went to the farmers' market and bought strawberries and tomatoes and beets and cinnamon almonds and smoked almonds and honey wheat bread and i am not craving sugar and i'm eating as healthy as it gets around here. i am still shaky and weird but it's all right. sundays are my one brief shining flash of sanity. the one moment in the week i get to breathe.

and so i am breathing and being content. for now. i know it won't last but at least i have this here, now. it's all i can ask for, really, and all i can expect.

a clean floor, an empty fridge, cats, strawberries, sunlight and the smell of autumn.

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