in my head my daydreams play out like films.
you'll come and collect me, we'll drive up the coast. sun in our
hair, feet on the windshield, massive blue sky. waves crashing against the
cliffs. your little car on those hairpin turns.
the film is yellowed, the audio hushed and tinny. secrets
exchanged and beautiful long silences. you know my demons already but don't
care. maybe you'll make me eat and won't let me run to the bathroom. i'll fight
but be secretly relieved and you know this. you'll hold my trembling hand.
but the film is washed out here, it breaks apart. there is too
much light, too much heat.
it cannot be. in truth, to know this secret, knowing what you
know i do, how could you stand to look me in the face and ignore it?
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