there are moments of joy that come when we are not paying attention, that slip by nearly unnoticed. drunkenness helps. deep friendships help if you can be brave enough.
she said, it will never be as good as you want it to be.
it will never be like the movies. it just doesn't happen that way.
behind the wine i whispered, i will never be as good as i want to be. my
life is not a movie, not a sun-bleached, muted montage driving up the coast
with the wind in my hair. i am too enthralled by mirages.
you are dreaming again,
anise. you cry because you dream because you do not look around you. the
sunlight is warm and the grass is green and in some places it's soft but you will
not sit down in it.
you wonder why your feet
are cold. stagnant blood in stagnant veins. hungry, aching mind. you have lost
your heart in the midst of all this, left on the roadside in the wind, the
crash of waves.
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