Sunday, April 29, 2018

an antonym for lucidity is murkiness, which does not even begin to describe


i think that i have been lying here staring at the wall for more or less two days straight. i am not sure. maybe it has been more or less two centuries.

when i am not home i cannot figure out where i am. what i'm supposed to be doing. i keep reminding myself it's sunday, though i don't know what this means. remind myself to not let go of the leashes. that i am walking dogs. i do not think i should be allowed to be driving.

in moments of lucidity i have scribbled important things all up my arm. i am trying to keep track of things but towards evening i cannot even read. black and blue of sharpie, pen, charcoal. i am marked, dangerous.

i am losing touch with reality. i am depressed beyond all measure and i am losing touch with reality.



i am terrified.

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